Two months ago I applied for and was offered a place at the University of East London to study for a Masters in Applied Positive Psychology and Coaching Psychology, yippeeee!!!
After the offer I received an application form to apply for a bursary from the university. Great, if I get it I receive 50% off my tuition fees, that has got to be good, I opened the application form planning to get the application out of the way, I read the first question, I made note of the deadline on my calendar and promptly closed the application…another day.
I then ‘forget’ about it – do we ever really forget???
The date drew closer and I just ignored the application form, and anything else to do with money for that matter.
Why? I had no idea at the time.
The day before the application was due to be submitted I opened the form and re-read the first question,”how do your academic achievements demonstrate you are a suitable candidate for this award?” Arrrh! what academic achievements? Who am I to think that I can study at masters level? I have always viewed my academic achievements as average, I got an average undergraduate degree about a bazillion years ago, why was I offered a place? why in the world would they want to give me the bursary?!
Boom!! there it was, I felt like a fraud, impostor syndrome was rearing its ugly head.
Impostor syndrome – Although not a disorder it is something that affects us all. It is when we feel like we are about to be exposed as a fraud despite adequate external evidence of accomplishments.
I had completely negated the other three questions which were about other achievements in my life and what I wanted to achieve by studying for this masters, I had written myself off based on the first question.
With my big girl pants firmly in place I tried hard to ignore the first question and answer the others but my answers still didn’t demonstrate who I was or what I had to offer. Thankfully my husband decided that he could do a better job and between us we put together an application that is a true refection of the student who will be attending University in September.
I believe that there is a positive in every situation and because I needed help completing this form it reminded me how supportive my children and husband are and that I do not need to do everything alone. I also discovered what my husband saw as my achievements in life and I felt humbled by and grateful for what he wrote.
Do you suffer from impostor syndrome?
Do you sometimes feel like a fraud?
How do you deal with it? Do you have any top tips?
Let me know by replying to this email or sharing your experiences in my Facebook group.
I would love to hear from you